A note. Many of us were created at a very young age yet how do we know how our mind worked back then. Some of what we know about each other seems quite sophisticated for a young child’s mind to create. We do not understand this fully yet and it is most likely that what we do understand at this time has been refined over the years. For example, Annie Charlie was made to carry and preserve the good things in childhood such as curiosity and the delights of discovering the world around us. But could we give her those traits at the early age of 1? Probably not. However, something happened early on, something was created. It is that essence we have to work with, a strong belief that each of us carry within ourselves.
Another example is Griffin-CHLD. He was created at 6 weeks of age, when we were separated from our mother. But it is highly unlikely that we understood such abandonment back then. Probably all we had then was some feeling of shock and pain, a sense of something missing, and something longed for. Then over the years as we understood more and more of the world, we came to know what that pain was, and we eventually found a name for it. So bear with us as we tell you why each of us was created. So much happened to us but we can’t prove most of it. We can only go by our guts and our heart, the feelings we have when we think of one of us or the feelings that alter carries with them. Each of us was created for a reason, a very good reason, and that we know for sure. We can feel our creation and know our pain. That is all we can give you. Don’t go looking for absolute truths. We tried. This is the best we have, the most that we know.
Another note. While the groups emerged in sequence, not every alter in each group emerged at the same time as the rest of the group. There were stragglers for almost every group. The reason for this? We think it’s because some were not ready to emerge when the others in their group were.
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THE OTHERS was the first group to emerge and make themselves known – December 7, 1990. They were the ones who had the most contact with the Outside world, were more active than other alters deep Inside. They were closest to the surface if you will.
Amanda
was about 2½ years old when she emerged. She was created by 2 alters called The Source to deal
with sexual abuse by the first foster father and was created right after Annie Charlie endured an episode of abuse and is said to be Annie Charlie’s twin. Interestingly she has not grown up as fast as Annie Charlie and is currently 13 years old (as of January 2011), whereas Annie Charlie is now 21. This is mostly due to how much time an alter is “out” and directly in contact with the Outside World (we call you folks “The Outsiders”). Amanda has had very little contact with Outsiders but she has aged a little.
Annie Charlie
was also about 2 ½ years old when she emerged, and also created by The Source to deal with sexual abuse by the first foster father. However, after the first episode of abuse, The Source decided that “childhood” must be preserved in some way. Thus Annie Charlie. And what a gift. She was able to be a “happy” child, to know trust and innocence and forget anything bad that had happened to her. That got buried.
Over the years she made friends with Outsiders who we felt were safe. She became very attached to Lance, to our son Graham, to our friend Sarah and to our psychiatrist Lyn. And she trusted many of us Inside as well. She became best friends with CF and they played together almost all the time. She allowed people to love her, to cuddle with her and play with her. She had things that she loved such as raspberry frozen yogurt, chocolate, and the rabbit dolls we owned. Every once in a while she would behave as a little girl would and throw a temper tantrum about something. But only once in a while. Patience once wrote “I think her very act of asking and receiving what she needs helps the whole System move closer to trusting the right people in order for us all to heal.”
Ariel
was 13 when she emerged and was created by an alter named n’i (pronounced “nigh”) to deal with an older (by five years) cousin’s decision to teach us about sex. Little did he know we already knew plenty. She was an angry and rebellious teenager when she first started coming out. She wanted nothing more than to defy authority. But over time she matured and began to take care of younger ones Inside as they emerged. She also became somewhat of a spokesperson for them. Even to this day, she spends a lot of time explaining the world to the younger alters.
She knew about Othel, Shell and Tir when we were in our teens and thus knew we were multiple. She was the social butterfly in high school and retains an amazing memory of the kids we went to school with back then. She knows their first and last names, how they dressed, who they hung out with.
When Shell was having a hard time with Emergence she was there supporting her. She is still the one who says “I don’t do depression” so that when we are feeling really down, she gets us out of the house and going for a walk or to the library. It always works to some degree.
She is now 34 years old.
Arwen
Was 38 when she emerged and had a very unique role in the system. She was created very late in the game, September 11, 1989 – a little over a year before The Others began emerging. Why? Because we needed someone to take over Shell’s role, to continue to present a facade to the world as still somewhat “normal” and to hide what was going on internally. Some alters knew there would be absolute chaos when we began to emerge. We still needed to make it to the grocery store to buy food. We still needed to take care of our son. We still needed to go to school, even though we had to quit eventually.
Some Inside knew that Shell would not be able to handle such an upheaval once our multiplexity was known so Una created Arwen to take over when needed. To present a front to the world. And to provide some continuity. She has done her job very well.
CF (Child of Five)
Was created by Razor Man and was the first of us to tell her story. Upon Emergence, she began to confide in our counsellor, John, and told him what she could remember about the abuse our stepfather rained on her. And John was so good and kind and patient with her. CF was only 5 years old when she emerged but she was very mature and quiet for her age. She had a heavy burden and she carried it like a real trooper. When she had told as much as she could, we released her, told her we would carry the hard stuff now, so that she could begin to be a child. We told her to go and play and that’s what she did. She and Annie Charlie became fast friends and played and played and played.
Her favourite colour was pink and she was a princess. She was the first one we bought a gift for – a rabbit doll she named Anastasia.
Empath
is our most spiritual alter. She emerged when we and she were 37. She was created by The Source to help create a structure for our system. She has long blonde hair, is beautiful and ethereal – a light shines behind her and emanates from her. We consider her our “highest self”, and what we most aspire to. To have compassion for all living beings.
Griffin-CHLD (also known as The Beast of Rage, Rage)
As "monster"
As "human"
Was a little under 16 years old when he emerged. He was created by Tir to carry our deepest rage, first about being separated from our mother at such a young age and second for all of the hurt we have endured. Often he saw himself as a monster of some sort. We saw him as an animal, but not monstrous. He was also seen, and is now only seen as a young man with a rather exotic face.
We have also often called him The Beast Within while our stepfather who abused us was seen as The Beast Without. Griffin-CHLD is now 29 years old.
Isa (also known as Spineless Baby)
Was created when we were about 9 months old. We were not able to sit up on our own, something a normal child should be able to do at that age. This was when we were living at the first foster home. When we were moved to a second home where the foster parents were kind and loving we grew rapidly and caught up with normal development.
Isa was about 9 months old when she emerged and she still is. For some reason she has not been able to grow like most of us have. Tir was the one who created her because of some neglect and we think possible sexual abuse. She is not so sad anymore however. We have taken good care of her over the years.
Julia (also known as Good Girl or The Dreamer)
Was 10 when she emerged. She was created by Othel to deal with sexual abuse by our stepfather when we were at home with him and our mother was at work. She was the first of us to begin our artwork. When she first emerged she was almost catatonic, responding little to our therapist. Eventually though Lyn won Julia over.
She loves to sing, especially creating harmony. She is also known as The Dreamer because she has carried Tir’s dreams and ambitions for her. Julia is now 24 years old. She and Katy Ann are very good friends and have done a fair bit of artwork together.
The Observers: Anxious, Eye, Pneuma
Were 37 when they emerged. Anxious is male, Eye and Pneuma female. What strange names eh? The Observers have had a very special and unique role in The Web (what we call our whole system). Devoid of emotions, they observed and mirrored many of us. Why? So that other people (Outsiders) could not tell what was going on Inside and could not see us switching. And usually the switching is rapid and constantly moving at that time. As well if The Observers are active it means there is utter chaos Inside.
Una created them for this role and boy did we need them when we were first emerging. There have also been times when no other alters wanted to be out and dealing with the world. Then The Observers would come out.
We hope to tell you more about them at some point and especially about their names. They are now 58 years old.
Othel
Emerged when we were 38. He is now 58. He was created twice. Once by Una, then re-created with a different function by The Source. When we dig up those notes we’ll tell you more.
We see him as the gas in our engine. When he’s got a project going he’s happy and thus we are happy. When he is lost we get depressed. à If Othel ain’t happy, nobody’s happy
Othel has always taken care of school and work. Even at home he has always been the one to come up with new projects (and there have been a lot of them). He also organizes and tells us what we will be working on tomorrow. He doesn’t do the detailed work though. He leaves that to the rest of us. He’s the one who sees the forest, not the trees. Guess we’re the trees.
Patience
Emerged when she was 38, in February 1991. She is our main ISH (Inner Self Helper). She is also our nurturer, our mediator, our therapist, our support. She also loves to cook and is usually the head chef. She is now 58. The Source created her to take care of us all.
Rebecca of the Peace
Is also an ISH. She helps Patience in her role. But she also plays a special part in something else. She helps us keep calm, helps us meditate and generally, as her name says, tries to bring as much peace to us as she can. Not an easy task by a long shot. She was created by Patience to help her and is now 58 years old.
Shell (Adult Empty, Miss Angry, Miss Normal)
You’ll have heard of me by now if you have read any of our posts. My name is Shell but there’s actually four parts of me, three of which belong to this group The Others. Told you we were complicated. My other part, The Censor, is part of The More Others. I guess I’m multiple within our multiplexity. (How’s that again?)
The Adult Empty part of me was created by Belle when we were 3 years old. It’s the major part of me. This role was to be the spokesperson for the group, even when I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. It is also the vessel that carries everyone Inside us.
Miss Angry was created by Serena, to express anger of course, to carry some of it, but also to carry doubt. Doubt and denial has been very important to our survival. We needed those two things to keep information from surfacing too soon, before we were ready to know and, more importantly, to believe these things happened to us. I still carry some doubt and denial – it didn’t happen to me. It happened to someone else.
Miss Normal, like Arwen, was created to put on that “normal” facade. Everything’s fine. Nothing wrong here. Serena also created her. All four parts are now 58 years old.
Tir (also known as The Lover)
Was about 28, although we were 38, when she first made herself known. Not sure why she is with this group. She really shouldn’t be with any group as she is not an alter. She is who we were before anything traumatic happened to us. She is the Original Person. But we put her here anyways.
The Resistance have known of her for a long time and always used to call her The Lover because she often got us sexually involved with men. She is a romantic at heart. No doubt. She is ethereal and haunting and we have labelled her psychotic at times when she seemed lost in her own world.
Whatever she is and wherever she is, Tir is the center of our world, the core being, who we really are. All of our healing work has ultimately been for her. We thought maybe that when we had done most of our healing that she would surface as the primary personality. But that has not happened. In fact, she is still not that active. She is around all the time, and no longer psychotic. But she is not who we are. We have become the sum of all of our parts, including Tir.
There is still a delicacy and fragility about her. A soulful look in her eye. We also see her as younger than our biological age so she is now 46 years old.
WhisperHer
Was 5 when she emerged and was created by CF. When CF was put in the closet as punishment she would call upon WhisperHer to tell her stories that would take her far away in her mind. She is now 16 years old.
