Stoene Boy (2)
COUNCIL MEETING JAN 21/93
Our first topic is to find out how everyone feels about being altogether in our home Inside, The Cocoon.
Some of our responses – it is easier to have conflict now that there are fewer walls between us. It is also easier to support each other when we are in pain. Ariel (1) says that now we can put all the anger and rage together. Othel (1) thinks that’s what has already begun happening. Now we can deal with it as a group. It’s also easier now to take care of those who need it – Tir (1), The Children of the Thirteen (3), and Isa (1).
Any particular concerns?
Yes. Othel feels that Letty (2) does not want to be here, is not willing to deal with her own pain much less anyone else’s. She would rather be left alone. Letty says she feels strongly that Sarah and Lyn have no business knowing anything about our past. She does not want to talk about her past or anyone else’s in the group. She doesn’t believe it helps at all and she would rather be left alone. Patience (1) asks her how she feels about living in The Cocoon. Letty says she’s used to us. We are her family and she has nowhere else to go but she really wants to be left alone. Patience asks us how we all feel about simply leaving Letty alone as she wishes. Any concerns or problems with doing that? Ariel is concerned that we may make decisions for the group and Letty will have no say in these matters if she does not come to meetings. Patience suggests we give more thought and brainstorming time to this. She thinks Letty, like Tir, is not yet ready to deal with her pain and should be allowed that space. So the question is how do we make space for anyone feeling as Letty does yet not just go ahead and make decisions without their input, if possible. Someone says “I’m not ready, I’m Letty” and we all laugh, including Letty. We all agree to give this more time.
Concerns about Tir
Presently she is “resting” and not part of this meeting. Apparently she is feeling depressed and unwilling to talk to anyone. She did talk to Lyn last night on the phone. We are a bit worried that she may be feeling suicidal. Shell (1, 2) says that she is having some suicidal feelings but is not sure where they are coming from. Might they be Tir’s? Patience and Shell will keep an eye on this. If we need to, we can phone Lyn, Sarah or the Crisis Line.
The Children of the Thirteen (3)
One more name surfaces – Nigel (3). He is one of the Shadow children. At Sarah’s yesterday we heard Timothy (3) crying. There is a growing sense that their memories are surfacing. Gabriel (3) is worried about them. Belle (3) and Rebecca (1) have offered their assistance. In terms of dealing with the Children’s memories, we could deal with them a bit at a time, slowing the process of Remembering down. Gabriel, Belle and Rebecca will sit down with the children first and discuss how to deal with the memories and how we will support them. They will let us know tomorrow morning if some of the memories can be dealt with tomorrow with Lyn.
Money
We want Othel to set something up so we can really keep an eye on our spending. We are in a critical situation here. Othel is reluctant as he too is having some emotional difficulties. He knows he does things/projects a lot of times in order to escape what he is feeling. He thinks stuff is trying to surface anyway. In the past, when his own pain has surfaced, he feels too overwhelmed to do anything and thus retreats, becomes dysfunctional. He fears he is headed this way now. He says he will try to set up something for our spending but he can’t promise anything right now. As a group, we understand because so much is unpredictable these days. What we can do now is not spend money on anything we don’t need and we’ll try to help each other with this.
Shell
Shell says she started getting “loopy”, as Ariel calls it, again yesterday. She says she thinks it’s because she has been feeling as if there’s some physical thing in the very center of her head and that it’s causing things to “go wrong”. Shell also feels that Lyn, if not Sarah too, already know there is something wrong with her but are not saying. Shell guesses this is called “paranoia”. The question is, though, is this coming from someone else Inside, such as Tir, or is it just Shell not able to cope with things. No one seems to know, or is not saying. We may need to use some Loxapine sometimes for Shell. Othel thinks it’s possible she is not psychotic.
Issues and topics for next meeting:
Anger – how can we express it
Time for children’s activities
Our book, how to get started
Work – how will we know when we are ready to go back
Drinking wine very day – is it a concern?
The meeting helps quite a few of us. Letty is thankful that we acknowledge her desires. Othel hopes Tir can come to the next meeting, even if she doesn’t say anything.
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