212. A MESS

Everything we do is a mess. We are scattered all over in bits and pieces. What a horrible mess – a waste of life. We are getting nowhere with things at least not to where we can ever be who we are, truly want to be. We don’t have the strength to carry on this life. What for? For what?

We have had many moments of joy but in the wake of these waves from the past how can it be possible to ever reach and realize our dreams?

I don’t want you to talk to me
I don’t want you to phone
I don’t want you to hear my voice
My voice cries so in the darkness
So all alone

I don’t want you to hear my cry

I don’t want you to know
I don’t want you to see this pain
This pain so in the darkness
So all alone

I want you all to go away

Don’t ask me anything
I want myself to go away
A place in the darkness – to be alone

I don’t want to give you anything

I don’t want to hear your cry
I don’t want this heart so open
This heart cries so in the darkness
So all alone

For Michael and our stepfather

some strange bird i am

that still lives under

your rain of terror

but you are the worms

and i'll eat you alive