Flower pattern. William Morris
There is inside of us, in the very center of our being, a long vertical corridor. Within that corridor exist 18 different levels or zones that we function on, go to when not active, meet on, or play on. They are also about knowledge. Each level we exist on means we have a certain degree of knowledge about us, the Web, about our multiplexity and about the abuse that happened to us.
Those that knew about the Levels were reluctant for ones like me-Shell (1, 2) to know about them but I had an inkling about them very early on after Emergence. Some purposely kept trying to confuse me about them because they were very afraid for Outsiders to know for fear we would be thought to be crazy. It took a while before the information became clear and correct.
One thing about the levels/zones is that the more levels each of us can function on the more knowledge we have about us. Othel (1) even came up with a mathematical formula to measure exactly how much knowledge each one of us has, based on the levels we can function on. He called it the Coefficient of Power, or CoeP. We also have a set of rules, though they have changed over time, about which levels an alter can be on.
There are three mirrors in The Levels. The first mirror is on Level 1 – called The Mirror Zone. At first only the 3 Observers (1) could be on this level. The Observers’ purpose was when there was utter chaos Inside and no one wanted to be “out” in the world, they would come out. But they would “mimic” those of us who were usually out so no Outsider could tell anything was different. The Observers used this mirror to be a reflection of us.
The second Level is the “Availability” zone. This is where you, the Outsider, are communicating with one or more of us. This is where The Front is. There can be more than one of us talking to you although you may not notice. Lance and Graham might be able to tell but even then, not always. Importantly, not all of us come here. There are many of us who never wanted to, and still don’t want to, come out and talk to Outsiders. They prefer to remain behind the scenes.
Level 3 is where we have information that passes from an Outsider through to all of us Inside. It’s also where we send information from Inside to those on level 2. Level 4 is called The Retreat Zone. Many of us used to go here when we were not out and not really present while others were out. A place we could just go and sleep. Level 5 is where many of us meet and have our conversations within. Sometimes it gets noisy if some of us are arguing with each other. Just after Emergence it got like that. Very, very noisy.
Level 6 is one of the best levels to be on. Here is our Inside home, called The Cocoon. Over the years we have built it and decorated it. It is a huge log home, deep in a forest that no Outsider can reach (unless invited). Inside is wood and light everywhere. There is a room for the younger children to play, and another room where older ones might meditate or gather. Most often it’s where some of us watch tv. Especially old movies. But then there’s the huge central area. There is a gigantic walk-in fireplace that keeps us all cozy and warm. And a huge flat screen tv. Did we mention how much we like tv? I think we did. Television is our surrogate mother. Many of us love tv.
There is a balcony around this central area. A sort of mezzanine where some of us sit and chat with each other. Further back are all of our bedrooms. Some of us share rooms. More fun. The bedrooms are wonderful too. Little alcoves for reading. Big four-poster brass beds with the most beautiful quilts on them and fluffy soft pillows.
The kitchen is a very central place as well. Patience (1) tends to spend most of her time there making the most delicious foods. There we can eat whatever we like (and never gain a pound). We have a huge sweet tooth so there are always cakes and cookies. But there is also succulent and juicy things to eat too. And tons of coffee.
Along the outside of the kitchen is a long porch. We have many warm summer nights there, sitting in the dark, quietly chatting with one another. Or in warm summer mornings we sit there with our coffee and watch the sun rise above the mountains. Down below is a river that some of us love to jump in first thing in the morning.
The Cocoon is our safe place Inside. Many survivors of abuse are encouraged to create one. To know there is someplace, even if it is only in our imagination, where we can go. We can make it snow, or rain, or be the warmest summer full of sun and birds.
Level 7 is where the Weavers function. Most of us belong to this newer group. Any alter age 15 and up can be here. This is where we talk about the important things in our life. Here we make our decisions about where we live, what work we do, who we want in our life.
Level 8 is called Maura. That is the name of our mind. Within Maura is The Storehouse, which we have told you about in posts #4 and #5a. In The Storehouse are many shelves with many boxes. Within those boxes lay our memories ... of everything. Not just the abuse. The Keepers of Maura (2) take care of this place. For a while not many of us could go there. When we started therapy and started working with memories of abuse, The Time Traveller (2) would go there and ask The Keepers for certain memories. Then The Time Traveller would bring the memories to the surface so we could talk about them, feel the pain of them, and eventually let them go.
Level 9 we call our Spirit World. An alter has to be at least 4 years old to be here, to have some understanding of what spirits are. In 1990, Shell began seeing a strange sight, at school, or in our therapist’s office – a woman painted in white, with strange clothes and objects on her, and she danced and hummed. Her name was Lady White Spirit and it was the first time Shell had ever had any experience with a spirit guide. There have been a few guides after that.
Level 10 used to belong only to The Controller (2). No one else could function there. That was when he sat in his “lifeguard chair” to oversee everything that was going on Inside. He did not really control us but he had more information than most of us. Eventually he and Old Self (2) and a few others became Elders and used The Controller’s knowledge to make critical decisions in our life.
Level 11 is Gaetway, the world that Una (4) created. Level 12 is called The Central Core. There resided Serena (5) and her “family” of alters. Some of them also functioned on Level 13 The Core-Mirror, the Second Mirror in the Levels. But there were also a number of other alters who resided and functioned on this level. Any alter who did had their name spelled backwards and forwards. Just like in a mirror.
The Source (8) had level 14 with the Third Mirror just beneath it and The Stoene was on level 15. The Resistance (7) resided on Level 16, called “Underground”. On Level 17 resides “The Deepest Self” or “Highest Self”. And level 18 we created in 2009. It is called The Cradle and 2/3 of the Web now reside there.
Over the years more and more of us have been able to function on more and more levels. This was because as we uncovered the abuse and processed what happened to us we were all becoming more informed about who we were. We dissociate less and less over time and share more knowledge with each other. Many of us are now able to function on all these levels.
We’re sure not all of this is crystal clear but we hope it gives you some idea of our internal world. We still want to hold onto some of its secrets as it is so private. But for what we have shown you – welcome to our world.
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