137. The Portal to the Wars (1995)

"Archimedes' Net"

Night is like this – a thin dark wall, that’s all.

He slips behind it

And finds –

No substance. Only air.

And the absence of light.

Makkio – scout

And son of Una,

In dark clothing

Slips behind the wall of dark

Like a burglar slipping through

An open window

Slips into the other world

Their world

There he can see what’s going on

Knows the score.

He comes back to Una’s cave

And tells her what’s out there.

Makkio – scout

And son of Una

Is now being called upon

Once again

To slip behind that wall of dark

Asked by Griffin-CHLD

The changeling

The shape-shifter.

The black membrane

That covers the Portal

In behind the eye that watches

Outward.

Makkio ....

Slips in behind

Unseen by anyone

No noise

No sound

Just slip ...

And gone.

Griffin-CHLD (1) has shown us the Portal to the Wars. Wars that will purge our world of those who harm the innocent.

This little one, one I do not know, puts out her hands, flat, to be touched. Her name, appropriately, is Hands (4). She does not speak and she is another offspring of Una’s.

October 17, 1995: Caer was experiencing a lot of emotional pain inside and switched a lot. One alter was a child named “hands (4)” who was very sweet and feels protected by Una (4).

The Time Traveller (2) comes out and talks to Lance. She tells him that she has been in many different places in the world and in many different times, both present and past.

And still another of Una’s Brood (4) emerges. Her name is Big (4), and her role is, and was, to protect Little (4). She knows all of what happened to Little and it makes her very sad.

There is an immense amount of pain this afternoon and depression. A grey heaviness upon us. Someone Inside says we cannot get through the Portal yet. Something is needed first but something is holding us back. The Portal closed is a membrane not yet ruptured.

Hands is upset because she had talked to Lyn. She believes she is not supposed to speak and told Lyn not to tell anyone, including us, that she had spoken but Una and others already knew and word spread fast throughout the Web. However, Una says it is alright if Hands speaks. But Hands is inconsolable and angry – for what, at who I’m not sure.

Hands talking to Lance triggers No Self (4) to remember another child “disappeared”, someone she liked a lot. No Self is crying with such grief over the loss.

The past belongs to the others, not to me. In a way, I have no past although I was created when we were 3 years old. But my “life”, my “past” was a facade, a shield only. What kind of life is that? A life with no knowledge of what was really going on. A life full of illusion. Well, now I am dis-illusioned and it is not altogether pleasant.

Griffin-CHLD and some of Una’s Brood are clawing their way to Level 2, to where they can directly communicate with Lance. They are desperate for Outside contact now even though they have always had each other. It’s not the same. They still felt lonely. Now there is someone safe and comforting to speak to.

Yesterday Flash (3) coloured our hair. Red.

And more names, more of us. Makkio (4), and Archimedes (4)

There is more than one reality Inside here. Parallel worlds and worlds within worlds. I knew that within Una there are worlds within worlds but this is outside of her. Things get repeated here, several times. Different outcomes. Makkio returns from the Dark with a golden goblet filled with red wine, like communion at church. “Commune” and “union” is needed for us to enter this Portal, to enter this war. But another reality says Makkio has not yet returned and the question “what is needed now?” still cannot be answered. You see, it depends on who you talk to Inside. We don’t all see the same picture, don’t all have the same perspective. It just gets more and more knotted up in our brain. I think it’s for protection. To protect us most of all.

October 24, 1995: I had received a phone call yesterday from Griffin-CHLD who was suicidal and hating himself. Today he emerged, sick with physical (stomach) pain and very frustrated because there is no outlet for his anger. He had wanted to express it to his mother but “the system” refused.

Griffin-CHLD wants to give up, wants to quit therapy, wants to erase himself from all of this, wants to be left alone. He will not let himself cry so I have to do it for him. He calls our mom and wants to tell her many things but we will not let him. He does tell her about the nursery school teacher, that she abused us. She was also a friend of our mom’s. She was also our Sunday school teacher. She was also our stepfather’s niece.

I cry. Wanting my mom. Wanting to be comforted. Wanting her to make everything okay. But I can’t. We can’t.

Archimedes has to do with a memory about water. Tir (1) also has issues around water.

October 26, 1995: Caer switched a lot in the session with more of “Una’s brood (4)” introducing themselves, e.g., Pearl (of Wisdom) (4) and The Shout (4). Tir emerged very upset, believing black beings were watching her in the walls and the window, telling her to do things and threatening her not to speak.

A show on tv about a place in the U.S. that treats multiples who were ritually abused. Bennett Braun was on it, the same man that Lyn role-played Tir to when she went to that workshop. They talked to ex-patients who turned around and said they were not multiple, not ritually abused, and said they were “made” to believe these things. The show made this clinic look pretty bad. This is frustrating to say the least. It feeds my doubts and denial (Miss Angry (1)) about being multiple, and ritually abused. A “guilty” seed grows bigger. But there is anger there too.

However, Patience (1) strokes my head and tells me it’s okay. We’re not lying. I haven’t done anything wrong.

I write in our journal “TRUST YOURSELF, SHELL (1, 2)”

I hate shows like that. Fuel for “false memory” advocates. Who knows, maybe they had something to do with this show. The media demands tangibles, must have proof. As do the courts. And that’s a tough one. There isn’t always obvious and clear proof of abuse. Abusers can be very sophisticated and clever, and they can be “fine upstanding citizens” who no one would suspect of such doings.

And more of us emerge. Pearl (“my little pearl of wisdom” says Una), who is one of Makkio’s best friends and The Shout, also created by Una. They both spoke to Lyn.

An army. The Shout says only children know how to fight, that adults forget and get stupid. I’m not absolutely sure what she means but there is a rumour abound that the children are going to form an army. To fight those wars I suspect.

The Shout speaks quite loudly. No surprise there.

Empath (1) and Una are apparently mirror images of each other, somehow. Someone says Una is a human form of Empath. They see Empath more as a spirit guide. And as a “gateway” of some sort too.

Una’s world, Gaetway,  is made up of thin sheets of white ice, a cold glassy world. At times the sky turns purple and the skyquakes happen. It is at the top of a mountain. It reminds me somewhat of Tibet. Pearl says that often with the skyquakes alters fall from the sky – a way of emerging. Huh?

I think The Censor (2) part of me is not working so well but what it means I’m not sure. Maybe more things are surfacing and I can’t seem to stop them or filter them as well anymore. Who knows. Maybe it’s simply the right time and that we are ready for more.