140. Explanations (1995)

Levels 1 to 10

[apologies for the swearing]

This from the Writers' Block:
Evil Eye/I (4) sucked everyone in. Some of Una’s Brood (4), such as Bad (4) and Jigsaw (4), are very afraid of the work Archimedes (4) is doing and very afraid of any word getting out.

You must also realize the importance of the connection between Othel (1) and Archimedes – a bridge between our innermost world and the one on the Outside. Othel is very much an “Outside” person. And there are similarities between the two.

Una (4) did not mean for Pearl (4), Elvira (4) and Makkio (4) to get stuck on the Outside yesterday. You could say a sort of net was thrown over as many as possible. Those three happened to be outside its range at the time.

Exposing Una’s world (Gaetway) like this has great impact on the Web. An enormous amount of information has surfaced. There is much to still be hidden and protected so questions from The Web may not be answered at this time. There is purpose in the work being done. There is a plan. There are ones who know what’s going on and cannot say too much about it right now.

Shell (1, 2) and others of you closer to the Outside world – we’re sorry if things are confusing and troublesome. We’re sorry if we upset you. The revealing of The Pieces is an extremely delicate matter.

Archimedes is determined to do what he’s doing but only because Una has chosen him. She also knows the balance of things, the rewards and the costs. She knows who is in Blue World (Gaetway) and she will protect them when and if needed. They are all hers – the Pieces, the Babies (4), her Brood. All of them.

Blue World. Another name for Gaetway. And it explains what Tir (1) meant by “under the Blue”. There are places beneath Gaetway, beneath Blue World. More levels says someone.

Una is not like Patience (1) who can be so calm and objective. Una reacts as a mother would – protective of her own before anyone else, even herself. But she is not stupid. She knows how important it is that The Web connects as one. She is a catalyst for both sides, for revealing and knowing but also for protecting and/or stopping things when it’s too dangerous. Everyone in Blue World listens to Una. She is “number one” as her name says.

An image of Gaetway/Blue World is clear to us now. A courtyard of sorts marked as a grid. We see Tir, all in black, and Phoenix (8), dressed all in white, dance upon this courtyard, mirroring each other. This feels like some kind of ceremony. Then we see a red cylinder penetrate the center of the yard. It enters into the mountain beneath our feet. The cylinder glows red hot.

The Web is strangely quiet this afternoon. A little irritable as well, wanting to shut out the world while we absorb what all of this means. The squares in the courtyard – each one contains one of The Pieces. This is where they live. I didn’t realize there was so many of them. There’s 486 of them. Bad refers to these squares as the Badlands, named after her. She says they are part of an army and she is the leader of that army. The Pieces are not alters inside us, but they are orphans who Una “adopted”. Children who were abused, internalized by Una. She wanted to care for all of them. She wanted to save them.

And who is this....?

They are fucking you up Shell. You don’t’ even remember you had a meeting tonight cause they blacked out the day on the calendar and blacked out your mind. Bad, Jigsaw and some others don’t want you to know what’s going on. And sorry to Ariel (1), Othel and others closer to the Outside cause they’re trying to really fuck your heads up.

And more and more and more....

Una and Bad have been arguing all day long and have been causing a lot of agitation in the Web. Una does not get along very well with Bad even though Bad is one of her children. Bad feels very threatened now that all The Pieces have been “identified”. But Una says they have nothing to worry about. They are not alters with memories. Bad says that’s exactly the problem because they can be gotten rid of.

Una keeps telling Archimedes to continue his work, with Othel’s help. [Writers’ Block]

What can I say about all of this? I feel so overwhelmed by all that is happening Inside but I have a feeling that all of it is necessary. There’s quite a battle going on between Bad and Una. I can only sit and observe it. This is crazy-making stuff.

Bad hates lots of us. she hurts The Babies (4). She made them cry. She likes to hurt the smaller ones. Someone has to stop her.

Bad claims to be the leader of this so-called army of children. Una did not appoint her thus but she claimed the title nonetheless. The children are warriors.

Una’s “cave” is called that because it looks like that from the outside, but Inside it is not actually a cave. It is a square, tiled, but first there is a gate. It is made of black iron and has carvings on it. But you can’t always see it. We have to go through that gate though in order to reach The Central Core, another level. The Core is a thick cylindrical pillar of light, usually glowing red. We can enter that Core and descend into the mountain. We can reach each level from that Core. That is all that we can write about it at this time.

Jigsaw draws a picture of himself in our journal. All it is, is a bunch of green blur, just like him.

November 24, 1995: ... troubled by all the discord inside. There was a lot of switching during our appointment. “Bad” is feeling very separate from the rest and tries to portray a “tough” exterior. She wanted to make sure I felt threatened by her, that she had that kind of power.

Getting out of bed is really difficult this morning. Our home is an absolute mess. Mirrors our inner world. With so much going on internally we have not had the energy to take care of more “external” things like housekeeping, groceries, etc. We still have to function guys. I feel depressed with all of this.

Pearl is on the surface a lot, at level 2, and is quite sensitive and feels very vulnerable. Patience tries to comfort her.

November 28, 1995: the system is stressed about “Bad”.

November 30, 1995: ...Much pain expressed.