Thursday, March 22, 2012


As you have seen on an earlier post, a friend of ours made 154 ribbons, each one with a name of one of the 154 to be integrated. She then took those ribbons, along with her son, and went to a place to tie the ribbons on a tree. We are so very honoured by what she has done and that even her son has been included in this process of saying goodbye.

We have also been doing our own ceremony. We have a statue of a goddess whom we call Pong Yi (it's a long story). She is the one we "pray" too and honour. For three days in a row we lit candles beside her, and burned incense while we proceeded to do the paper work on each alter. Each one of us has a sheet of paper with our name on it, our age when we emerged, the age we are now, who created us, why we were created, and other information. We are now in the process of marking those 154 sheets "Home as of 3/19/12" and pulling them out of our binder. Until only 28 will be left to continue to update. It is a very physical way of saying goodbye to each one.

During our days, from time to time, we think of them and feel them to be gone, in one sense. We feel the loss and the space they leave behind. At times we feel the grayness of grief, the absence of ones we have cherished.

Letty was a Christian. The only one of us who believed in a Christian god. Many years ago we acknowledged her belief by buying her a cross pendant. We don't usually wear it but she asked us, before leaving, if we would at least wear it for a time, as a way to remember her and all of them. It seems fitting as well to wear a cross, as if a marker on a grave. So we wear it.

We are missing you all.

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